


Homebound

by cledritch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Sea-longing, Selkies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 21:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cledritch/pseuds/cledritch
Summary: The sea is Sicheng's home but Taeyong has his heart.





	Homebound

**Author's Note:**

> this is simple bc i'm dying at this 14k+ johnwin fic so stay tuned and thanks for reading

Sicheng dreams of the sea.

Saltwater against his skin, the smell clinging to his skin that he can never wash off. He recalled the wisps of white dusted against his cheeks when he bathed in the sun on a rock, the sea surrounding him in a blanket of comfort. The sound of waves crashing against the cliffs ahead and sea foam fizzing as they dispersed.

He gasped awake every time, the bitter taste left to his mouth as he tried to not let the sinking pull of going back to the sea drown him.

But he never succeeds, always lingering too long in the bath to gain that feeling of water around him. It’s too cold, it’s too tepid, and it’s too…different. It was never enough for him to just sit in the tub wasting water until it overflowed. Not to mention how he submerged his head too long, air never a problem when he fell asleep underneath the cramp porcelain tub.

Taeyong, however, disagreed.

There is one more thing that he is familiar with too, Taeyong. He doesn’t know what to call him, how to describe them. Taeyong who is beautiful like the sea, filled with tempests of his own within a calm gaze as he looked at Sicheng with longing. A longing he chased during cold nights he couldn’t sleep well, holding him close with his lips to the nape of his neck, spooning him. He can’t see why Taeyong lived alone in the outskirts of town, rarely leaving Sicheng’s sight unless it was for important matters. Sicheng is convinced that Taeyong is not of this world, face sculpted like a painting with a tall nose, expressive eyes that glimmered with affection and a sharp jaw he always touched to see it would cut him. Taeyong who would laugh merrily at Sicheng’s curiosity, teach him the little things that would develop into long walks across the harbor when Sicheng missed the sea too much he couldn’t sleep.

There, Sicheng would run across the sand as if he were a giddy child. He’d pick seashells he’d bring home to make necklaces out of, a conch shell he’s fashioned with beads into a bracelet looped around Taeyong’s wrist. He’d let his toes dip in the rising tide, the salty air whipping his hair against his face as the waves washed over his feet.

In those times, he’d feel immense loneliness creep again; he’d have flashes of sprawling hills covered in snow as he waddled in the icy waters, warm embracing him despite the falling snow. He’s held by his parents, another person reaching out to him to plant a kiss on his forehead. Other times, there were storms. He’d see the sea for its worst, unforgiving as he’s washed away by the cruel tide and dragged down the water, sting of the saltwater tingling his throat as they filled his lungs.

Then Taeyong who held him by the shore, tears on his face as he carried him back to his house and nursed him back to health.

He doesn’t understand even to this point why he felt he was missing something. Something important.

But Taeyong would distract him when he was deep in thought, clinging to him with one arm and kissing him lightly on the cheek. A placating gesture, asking permission that Sicheng would nudge their noses to show he was okay. Sometimes it stopped there yet there were times where Taeyong would stare at his lips that Sicheng would kiss him, short and sweet with a light flick of his tongue against his lower lip. It never went beyond that, Taeyong too flustered to chase him when he moved away.

Living with him is more than Sicheng could ask for. He grew his own vegetables, the meat hunted from the woods and prepared by hand. Taeyong was a good cook who never let Sicheng go a day without trying something good, feeding him by hand just so he can make sure he ate. He was a doting man, always trying his best to please Sicheng in the littlest things: doing the laundry, buying him clothes and taking him out when the days were good. But Taeyong has his bad days, ones where Sicheng isn’t allowed to be near him out of fear that he might snap. He’d lock himself in the attic where Sicheng isn’t allowed, brooding for long periods of time that when he came down he’d ignore Sicheng. It’s those times he wondered what would make Taeyong unhappy he became someone else. Dark eyes that glared at Sicheng but softened a minuscule to force a smile before climbing back up with food and a bottle of water.

Sicheng doesn’t leave the house during those times and he doesn’t know why he stayed. His skin itched when he didn’t swim in the sea, unconsciously digging his nails on his arm because it’s making him crazy. It’s those times he would dump salt into the tub, enough to make the water cloud and sink himself in to alleviate the urge to just jump off the nearest cliff.

Taeyong would come down, tired and he’d pull Sicheng to the couch to kiss him. Forceful, his fingernails dig crescents onto Sicheng’s shoulders and his teeth are clashing with Sicheng’s own. He felt the ringing in his ears, lips tingling when Taeyong left as fast as he came. He would be frazzled when Taeyong hugged him from behind when he was brushing his teeth and resting his chin on his shoulder.

He doesn’t mind it.

 

Sicheng is homesick.

It’s the only explanation he can give himself, losing appetite that he would not go out of bed when Taeyong called and wrapping his body in too many blankets he’s become a burrito. He’d then haul himself clothes and all into the tub and let the water overflow, curled up as he started sobbing. It’s a heavy weight in his chest, always making him uneasy when he isn’t near water that he would push Taeyong away when he held him at night. It was too stuffy when their skins touched, wrong in ways he can’t explain.

Taeyong would have a hurt look on his face, biting down his lip to stop the protests because Sicheng has mastered ignorance where anything Taeyong did, he wouldn’t care. Not out of spite but out of pity, grateful but still unsatisfied with his predicament.

Sicheng is starting to see the holes in his memory that began with Taeyong incomplete.

 

The rain was heavy that fateful night.

They fought. A strange occurrence when they were nearly in sync, understanding coming across between them as an unspoken pact. But Sicheng hadn’t seen the sea for a month, holed up with a troubled Taeyong who refused to let him go out. He was frantic every time he stormed up the attic, throwing a sideways glance at Sicheng before slamming the door shut. Unexpectedly, the place drew him now, a gut feeling telling him he should go upstairs to see what was going on. Could Taeyong be hiding someone there ala Mr. Rochester from the book he read to entertain himself? It’s unlikely and yet he still spent too much time in there to be normal.

Their fight wasn’t violent. Just filled with too many emotions that their actions spoke more than needed.

But Sicheng wanted to go outside, despite the pouring rain. The rhythmic patter of raindrops could have lulled him to sleep but he was so antsy that he paced and back and forth in the middle of the room. He’s biting his nails with every step, closing his eyes forcibly as the rain taunted him and Taeyong, who looked up from the letter he was writing, realized it too fast.

“No.”

Sicheng snapped. “I need to. And you can’t stop me.”

Taeyong didn’t believe his threat, standing up slowly without looking away from him with thinly-veiled panic in his eyes. His fingers twitched, stance ready to grab Sicheng if he moved anywhere near the door.

Sicheng peeked at the opened doorway, heart beating like a hummingbird as the blood rushed to his ears. He needs to go. He has to.

He bolted.

Taeyong’s screams are drowned in the rain as he ran barefoot, mud splattering as he tried to run with the water running down his wet bangs that have stuck to his forehead. He doesn’t know how he managed to reach the edge of the cliff of the woods, gasping for air when he collapsed on his arms and knees with tears stinging his eyes. He can hear Taeyong in the distance, desperately calling his name and he’s worried for him. But Sicheng stared down the edge, discerning the jagged rocks at the bottom as the loud crash of waves echoed. There’s a small beach at the corner, a deposit of sand fit for someone to be able to rest there. Sicheng blinked, heaving breaths stuttering when his memory began to bridge the gaps.

The cold Arctic ocean against his skin, the snowflakes landing on his nose as he swam with his family. Then migrating to warmer oceans after mistaking a route to be the way, separating him from his family. And being pelted by the storm that came, gaining consciousness in an unfamiliar place before being hit by a fishing spear on the head. The smell of blood mingling with the salty water lulled him to sleep, floating still out of buoyancy.

Then…Then Taeyong hauling him up and bandaging him up as he cried.

It all made sense.

 

Taeyong embraced him tight when he came back home, dripping wet from the rain but his mind is all over the place to return the hug. The elder is crying again between apologies, telling him he’ll take him to the see just so he wouldn’t do something like this again. It’s heartfelt that Sicheng rubbed his cheeks against Taeyong’s hair, noting that he’s really warm. The wetness of his clothes is seeping into the elder’s own but even when he dripping all over the floor, Sicheng’s mind is reeling as he moved back, out of Taeyong grasp.

He looked at him in disbelief, mouth quivering. He wouldn’t lie to him. Taeyong was more than that. He wouldn’t lie about an important matter that held Sicheng’s life.

“Taeyong, where’s my pelt?” his voice is cracking, gritting his teeth to stop from bolting again so he can forget this happened. He wants this to get over sooner.

The elder froze, eyebrows shooting up. He stared silently, eyes moving from one direction to another before dropping his head in shame. Sicheng’s sob only broke his heart.

“Sicheng, I can’t tell you that.”

“You need to. I don’t belong here.”

He grabbed his shoulders, pleading “No! You were happy, weren’t you? We can stay like this and you can go to the sea every day just…” he collapsed to his knees, arms loosely hugging Sicheng’s waist “Just stay.”

He stood up, not looking into his eyes and waited. Sicheng smiled sadly, titling his head up and kissing him on the corner of his lips “I’m sorry but this is not where home is.” he pursed his lips. Taeyong is quiet, letting out a long sigh before he walked back inside the house up the stairs. Sicheng felt his chest tighten at the dragging of his feet, his mind set on going back to his family. He loved Taeyong’s company, his care making up for what he’s done and despite this, if he didn’t leave, he will die. There are prices to pay.

Taeyong came back down the stairs, tear tracts fresh on his cheek as he held a shimmery pelt in his arms. The fur called to him that Sicheng didn’t realize he’s moved closer with an awe-struck expression.

“I’m sorry for caging you. I couldn’t help myself.” Taeyong confessed and let Sicheng hold the pelt he’s been longing for so long, brushing his thumb against his cheek “I’ve been looking for the seal that saved my life when I was still a child. And I knew it was you. But you didn’t remember after I accidentally threw that hook at you. I regret hurting you and I thought if you stayed with me, you’d be safe. I was wrong.” There’s so much he wanted to give to Sicheng, so many promises he kept to himself he would have made true as the years went past.

The pelt is warm in his arms, running his fingers down the sleek fur that felt like coming home. His skin is tingling with the weight, ready to wear it again and go home. But then the stray thought that he doesn’t want to leave Taeyong lonely made him pause, tightening his hold on the pelt before he turned to Taeyong.

“I need to go back home.”

Taeyong doesn’t speak, nodding somberly as he turned away. He can’t take the sight of him leaving, molded a piece of himself between the spaces of his mind and refusing to be forgotten. He will miss him, that is a given. He will miss the warmth he brought during the listless nights, miss the way his eyes crinkle with his smile when Sicheng failed at cooking rice and he will never be able to recreate the comforting way his hands ran through his hair.

“But you’re my home too.”

Those were his last words, Taeyong’s hopeful face imprinting into his mind as he slipped on his pelt, the material sticking to his skin and molding as he felt himself grow smaller, lithe body feeling lighter. He found himself on his flippers, staring up at Taeyong and the elder crouched down to carry him like a baby in his arms.

“I’ll hold you to it.” He whispered against the top of his head, kissing softly and carried him all the way back to the sea.

 

(The days were monotonous but Taeyong’s learned to not mind it. He has started to work by the docks, spending more time in the sea in the old rusted boat given to him the retired fisherman who found him always visiting the shore after Sicheng left. He hasn’t stopped waiting that the old rickety man decided that if he loved the sea, it would be better to find some past time with it. The boat is small with a tiny cabin control room, the hull repainted into a calming blue and he would spend more time there now catching fish or just watching the stars at night with a blanket wrapped around him. Sometimes he would witness the algae lighting up the waters, species of fish only awake at the nightly hour surfacing to eat. The sight made Taeyong appreciate the sea for its hidden mysteries, not just the cruelty it’s given him.

 It was refreshing for him to make new friends after he decided to not always stay at home, Doyoung commenting he used to be such a hermit and Yuta asking where he managed to buy the bracelet he never took off, admiring its craftsmanship. Taeyong doesn’t really mind selling the shell necklaces and jewelry Sicheng left, happy that at least people admired the handiwork.

He doesn’t lie to his friends when they asked if someone was waiting for him. Because every time he was out on sea, he would look over the waters to find a disturbance. To see if he would be back again.

It’s like waiting for a miracle without any reassurance it would come easy.

Taeyong’s comfort is the promise, playing with the bracelet around his wrist to stop his thoughts from wandering. He has hope because he yearns and it would not be his place to force time to spin faster.

He can wait.

There’s a sound in the water one night when he’s huddled in the corner reading Jane Eyre, Sicheng’s bookmark nestled where he last left it. It was for sentimentality he supposed but more that maybe trying to connect with Sicheng with the things he’d left would ease his longing. So he thought at first he was hearing things, putting the book down and peering over the railing. It’s dark other than the dull glow of his lamp, the pitch black horizon blanketing beyond the ring of light.

Another splash, his boat rocking when something brushed past underneath it and Taeyong’s heartbeat roared. He peered even more, his waist hitting the metal as he bowed down to really see if there was something out there underneath, eyebrows furrowing when it turned still again.

He doesn’t expect something shooting out of the water, wrapping its limbs around his neck to pull him under. He hit the water fast, bubbles erupting around him as he gasped, choking at the water that came down his throat. He kicked his feet to try and dislodge whatever was holding him, his scream merely a gurgle. Taeyong would have a full-blown panic attack until a pair of lips pressed on the corner of his mouth then two hands grabbing his cheeks and latched onto his mouth to blow air into his own. He felt relief immediately, the feeling of being pulled back up as his head broke up the surface. But despite how he pulled back to breathe in the fresh air, there’s a light kiss on his cheek and a giggle that followed.

Sicheng smiled at him, dripping water down his face with his wet hair slicked back. He looked naked because Taeyong can see his bare shoulders flushed from the cold and the water pooling at his collarbone. He doesn’t know what to say, turning to the boat to find Sicheng’s pelt over the rail.

“Hi.” Sicheng shyly said, tucking is head under Taeyong’s neck and winding his arms tighter.

“You’re back.” He said, breathless. He can’t help himself from cradling Sicheng’s face with both arms. It’s cold and he can’t see properly but he is too elated to care.

Sicheng kissed him again, murmuring against his lips “I’m home.”)


End file.
